Please check out this music video on Infertility.
The Birds and the Bees are having trouble conceiving....
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Have you ever wanted something SO badly? For me, it is A FREAKING BABY!
All i want to do is be a mother. And give Ben a baby. I want to give him the gift of fatherhood so badly. I feel horrible that my duty as a wife (starting a family), I can not fulfill. I am still struggling to see God's plan for us. I want to see it so bad. Why did God choose Ben and I to struggle with this for 3+ years? I mean i know it says God won't give you anything you can't handle, but i'm starting to wonder.... I think God thinks i am way stronger than i am...
Sorry for the vent, just really feeling it today.
Side note: Please be in prayer for the following ladies in our Support Group (and a few others):
E.C. - Pregnant! Pray for safe and healthy preg/delivery
E.S. - Praying about Surrogacy
T.K. - Currently doing IUI, testing SOON!
L.M. - Break time
N.B. - Trying, Trying, Trying
J.V. - Pursuing an IUI
A.C. - Fostering, in pursuit of own pregnancy, possible adoption
M.L. - Failed IUI, praying for direction
A.E. - Starting IVF in November
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Which way God?
God, which way do you want us to go? Adoption? Fertility treatments?
Do you ever wonder where God is leading you? Just when we thought God was leading us 100% towards Adoption he lays IUI on our hearts.
Should we see the Dr and give it the good ole fashion 'one more try' or be finished (what we thought we were) and go straight to adoption? We are certainly on our knees praying!
We have our name on a list for the Home Study here in Fl. So we will keep our names on the waiting list, but I am going to call our new insurance carrier and see whats up! Praying I won't have to go back to my OB/GYN and get a whole new work up to be referred to Dr.Brown. I pray not!!!
I'm not to sure if I'm emotionally ready to go back...all the visits, all the hormone pills and meds. Agh! Are we ready?!
What do you think? How did you know which way God was leading you?
Always praying
Do you ever wonder where God is leading you? Just when we thought God was leading us 100% towards Adoption he lays IUI on our hearts.
Should we see the Dr and give it the good ole fashion 'one more try' or be finished (what we thought we were) and go straight to adoption? We are certainly on our knees praying!
We have our name on a list for the Home Study here in Fl. So we will keep our names on the waiting list, but I am going to call our new insurance carrier and see whats up! Praying I won't have to go back to my OB/GYN and get a whole new work up to be referred to Dr.Brown. I pray not!!!
I'm not to sure if I'm emotionally ready to go back...all the visits, all the hormone pills and meds. Agh! Are we ready?!
What do you think? How did you know which way God was leading you?
Always praying
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Monday, October 17, 2011
Our Story
Our Story....
It all began in 2008. My Husband and I decided to 'start trying'.
I knew we would have problems as I have never had a 'regular' period. What's regular anyway?
Right? Anywho, we tried by ourselves for about 6 months and I couldnt take it ANYMORE! (Might i add, i am extremely Type A and want what i want when i want) We decided to go to the OB. I made the appointement and went to see my sweet Dr. She told me 'Oh Hunny, you are only 20, i can get you pregnant in 6 months.' I JUMPED FOR JOY! So 6 mos (to the day) i went back. I saw my oh so sweet Dr again and said 'it's been 6 months'. We were trying BC for those 6 months (which doesnt that kind of seem like defeating the purpose?). So we did a Vaginal Ultrasound and found out i had the 'string of pearls' around both my ovaries.... so she sent me for more testing. This is when i found out i had PCOS. (For more info on that, please see http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001408/). I did EXTREME research and freaked myself out. I mean CYSTS ON MY OVARIES?!?! OVARIAN DRILLING?!?! CHANCE OF NOT GETTING PREGNANT??! OVARIAN CANCER?!?! GENETIC?!?!
AAAGGGGHHHH I literally FREAKED, as i looked at worst case senario.
My Dr and I decided it was time for my Husband i to transfer to a RE. We prayed and prayed asking God for direction. Clinging to 'Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.' (Philippians 4:6-7)
We decided on a RE, and made an appointment to meet with him. My Husband wouldnt be able to wiggle his way out of this appointment! We met with Dr.B and did another VU and did more glucose testing and again determined i had PCOS. He was so sweet and sat with us while i cried hysterically. Again, he told us 'I can get you pregnant in 6 months.' (Long story short) we tried BC, Glucophage, Provera, Clomid, Byetta Pen, etc (all multiple times) with NO SUCCESS. A year later we decided to take a break. I couldn't handle the emotional stress and ALL THE FREAKING PILLS AND SHOTS any longer! I remember one night laying in my bathroom floor sick (thanks clomid), crying my eyes out. I couldnt take this anymore.
This is when I searched for a Support Group. Lo and behold, there are VERY few in Jax. WHAT?!?! Why when there are 7.3 million women who are dealing with Infertility are we not booming with SG's? Anywhoo, I visited several. Not one did i come away feeling encouraged. And that is SAD. When i picture a Support Group, i picture leaving HAPPY and ENCOURAGED knowing that we will eventually come thru this (pending God's plan). So i decided to take this challenge and run with it (mainly to distract myself). Ladies, I tell you Facebook is an AMAZING resource. I put on FB 'I am infertile and need women to talk to'. You would NOT believe the number of people that commented or messaged me saying they went (or are going) thru this too! I was SHOCKED! I was expecting one, maybe two responses. It was unfathomable.
So we decided to meet one night at Panera, that's where it all started. It was amazing. It was a great time of talking, crying, loving, encouraging and most of all praying. It was so amazing to know women who are dealing with the same sadness,hurt,shamefulness,emptiness as me! Who knew?! Anyway, I say all that to say this. If you are going thru Infertility (primary or secondary) don't be the 60% who stay 'hush hush' about this. SAY SOMETHING. It really helps to be apart of a group where you can come and be encouraged and in return encourage others.
Trust me, i know how much INFERTILITY SUCKS! I am praying for every woman who is dealing with Infertility. I am praying for God's plan and will for your life (and mine).
As for B and I, we are praying and pursuing Adoption! (Stay tuned for more on that).
If you would like to chat with me one on one, please feel free to email me at benkatierice@gmail.com
XOXO
It all began in 2008. My Husband and I decided to 'start trying'.
I knew we would have problems as I have never had a 'regular' period. What's regular anyway?
Right? Anywho, we tried by ourselves for about 6 months and I couldnt take it ANYMORE! (Might i add, i am extremely Type A and want what i want when i want) We decided to go to the OB. I made the appointement and went to see my sweet Dr. She told me 'Oh Hunny, you are only 20, i can get you pregnant in 6 months.' I JUMPED FOR JOY! So 6 mos (to the day) i went back. I saw my oh so sweet Dr again and said 'it's been 6 months'. We were trying BC for those 6 months (which doesnt that kind of seem like defeating the purpose?). So we did a Vaginal Ultrasound and found out i had the 'string of pearls' around both my ovaries.... so she sent me for more testing. This is when i found out i had PCOS. (For more info on that, please see http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001408/). I did EXTREME research and freaked myself out. I mean CYSTS ON MY OVARIES?!?! OVARIAN DRILLING?!?! CHANCE OF NOT GETTING PREGNANT??! OVARIAN CANCER?!?! GENETIC?!?!
AAAGGGGHHHH I literally FREAKED, as i looked at worst case senario.
My Dr and I decided it was time for my Husband i to transfer to a RE. We prayed and prayed asking God for direction. Clinging to 'Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.' (Philippians 4:6-7)
We decided on a RE, and made an appointment to meet with him. My Husband wouldnt be able to wiggle his way out of this appointment! We met with Dr.B and did another VU and did more glucose testing and again determined i had PCOS. He was so sweet and sat with us while i cried hysterically. Again, he told us 'I can get you pregnant in 6 months.' (Long story short) we tried BC, Glucophage, Provera, Clomid, Byetta Pen, etc (all multiple times) with NO SUCCESS. A year later we decided to take a break. I couldn't handle the emotional stress and ALL THE FREAKING PILLS AND SHOTS any longer! I remember one night laying in my bathroom floor sick (thanks clomid), crying my eyes out. I couldnt take this anymore.
This is when I searched for a Support Group. Lo and behold, there are VERY few in Jax. WHAT?!?! Why when there are 7.3 million women who are dealing with Infertility are we not booming with SG's? Anywhoo, I visited several. Not one did i come away feeling encouraged. And that is SAD. When i picture a Support Group, i picture leaving HAPPY and ENCOURAGED knowing that we will eventually come thru this (pending God's plan). So i decided to take this challenge and run with it (mainly to distract myself). Ladies, I tell you Facebook is an AMAZING resource. I put on FB 'I am infertile and need women to talk to'. You would NOT believe the number of people that commented or messaged me saying they went (or are going) thru this too! I was SHOCKED! I was expecting one, maybe two responses. It was unfathomable.
So we decided to meet one night at Panera, that's where it all started. It was amazing. It was a great time of talking, crying, loving, encouraging and most of all praying. It was so amazing to know women who are dealing with the same sadness,hurt,shamefulness,emptiness as me! Who knew?! Anyway, I say all that to say this. If you are going thru Infertility (primary or secondary) don't be the 60% who stay 'hush hush' about this. SAY SOMETHING. It really helps to be apart of a group where you can come and be encouraged and in return encourage others.
Trust me, i know how much INFERTILITY SUCKS! I am praying for every woman who is dealing with Infertility. I am praying for God's plan and will for your life (and mine).
As for B and I, we are praying and pursuing Adoption! (Stay tuned for more on that).
If you would like to chat with me one on one, please feel free to email me at benkatierice@gmail.com
XOXO
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